August 27, 2011

Made by Malaysian

I saw few familiar faces, and my awesome lecturer hall wall. :')
Mat Luthfi, you have an amazing soul.

I love living in Malaysia knowing we have people like this and a lot more. Alhamdulillah.

Happy Independence Day, Malaysia :)
Oh, dan Selamat Hari Raya jugak! Minta maaf dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki, yang nampak atau tak, yang sekarang atau dulu. Mintak maaf banyak banyak, harap harap dapat maafkan.. mana la tau esok lusa aku kene panggil mengadap Big Boss up there hu hu hu. :) Thanks.
Raya and Merdeka sekali gus, orang lain sibuk cuti aku sibuk kerja nak buat duit untuk si GL-1 tersayang.


August 26, 2011

Tak rugi.

Best gilaaaaaaa sila tengok please! <3

Belum Raya dah gaduh. Weh.

Bagus, tak sabar jumpa korg, kita gaduh face to face pulak ye adik adik. /ashdfajsghfdjasdgajkl.

August 24, 2011

Raya #1

Aku confused nak balik kampung mana satu. Tiket bas/train tgh selling hot macam goreng pisang panas ni. Raya sini je lah, ok dak korang? =P, hari Rabu boleh celebrate birthday S and buat konon konon macam kita ada rumah sendiri. Heee. But yeah still. Should we balik beraya? Nak jumpa sapa pun really? Hm.

August 22, 2011

Agaknya kalau akulah yang on that plane and akulah yang nak menuju sana buat umrah, mungkin sampai sampai je depan kaabah nanti, akulah orang yang mula mula akan menangis dari awal sampai habis. Mungkin sepanjang perjalanan tu aku akan sebak je. Sebab aku tengah imagine ni. Seronoknya orang yang dapat pegi sana, dapat direct line berhubung terus, dah lah bulan puasa sekarang ni. I cannot wait for my turn. I hope aku dapat tunaikan yang kelima tu before aku mati. I hope aku dapat buat sehabis baik.

Agaknya kalau aku berbumbung sendiri, tak rasa macam ni nikmat hidup. Sikit sikit nak complaint, sikit sikit nak salahkan parents. Agaknya tak dapat merasa hidup macam ni. Sekarang benda ni semua tengah tolong aku jadi orang. Kalau aku duduk sebumbung Abah mungkin aku takkan nampak the reality of life. That people won't actually give a shit no matter how helpless you are. Agaknya kalau people actually give a shit, aku tak merasa nak appreciate apa dan siapa yang ada dengan aku sentiasa.

Agaknya, kalau ibu ada lagi, mungkin aku akan jadi budak paling pemalas, degil, ungrateful, whiny bitch. Kalau ibu ada lagi mungkin akulah yang itu. Mungkin aku takkan reti buat benda benda ni semua, sebab ibu sayang aku, ibu sayang kami, kalau boleh angkat pinggan pun dia tak bagi anak dia buat.

Agaknya, kalau aku still ada yang itu, aku takkan pandang yang Ini.
Aku takkan mengadu yang dekat Situ.
Aku takkan teresak, lepastu tahan.

Agaknya, kalau aku selemah yang aku sangka. Mungkin aku dah buat kerja bodoh, macam tulis surat ala ala "Selamat tinggal dunia".

Tapi tak. Semuanya tak.
D, put yourself together. Please, just this time. Just one more time.

I'm not your charity case, don't pick me up for your own bigot motives and then put me down when you just can't do it anymore. Put on your running shoes and run a mile in mine. Please? But I guess that's too much to ask for now. I should be thankful that I've a place to crash, at least for now.

Bad day?

Nah a pick me up video for you. :)

August 21, 2011

Harini agak suck dari awal sampai habis, tapi tengah tengah macam buat aku senyum sampai sekarang. Dem.

Maybe, Allah bagi pinjam rasa best ni sebab nak bagi sneak peek on what's gonna be. Eee best! :), hari hari rasa fall in love dengan Creator. Best sangat weh.

August 18, 2011

Maybe, this is why you guys are finally there, for me. My Allah is the best. Through my darkest days, I can still smile.

Delusional -

Hm. Do you make up a person's character in your head? I mean say you took an interest in a person and you're too much of a chicken to actually find out who s/he is and you made up this person with the same face, with characters you'd like to see.

Don't know if I'm making any sense here (?) but yeah, mind has been doing that a lot lately.

That person is not bad at all :-) (the one who's in my head not the one who's in front of me because I'm just awkward like that)

I believe that I'd be forever socially awkward and will die a cat lady. I already have one cat, 26 more to go eh?
Work has been awesome, due to that person in my head hewhewhew. Not living the dream, but not bad either. Something to keep me productive while I'm on my holiday. Best decision I made so far. Love you, self xx
Met the mIRCkids just now, I'd say this is the most successful gathering yet because we actually do something and there were like at least 13 of us, which is more than the usual 8. :-) thanks guys!
I need to meet new people. I mean, I love my circles, just that, I need to know more people, y'know? New mindsets, new things to learn and respect. That sort of stuff. Something to explore.
Selamat berpuasa!

August 9, 2011


Kau menang okay? You got the man. You got our dad. Apa lagi kau nak? Apa yang kau nak semua kau dah ada. Just be nice and be thankful you won him over us - his own flesh and blood. Tolong berhenti jadi hantu dalam hidup kitaorang. Sikit pun tak mintak kau buat apa apa, just, BE HUMAN AND BE CONSIDERATE.

:( Takkan bulan puasa pun setan dalam badan kau tak keluar keluar. Ke kau sebenarnya yang setan? Tak best okay buka puasa macam tu. Tak best sahur macam tu. Aku tau aku bukan anak kau. Tapi kau tak jaga makan pakai aku pun so what's the story?

Apa lagi kau nak, seriously? Kitaorang semua dah tak duduk dengan Abah sebab kau. Dah puas kan? Duduk dua orang je, kan? Please lah. =( I need my dad too.

August 8, 2011

Oh my god harini aku makan cappuccino cheesecake, leftover birthday Aunty dua hari lepas. Whut. There goes my so called diet. Tak sedap mana pun tapi I feel like having some dessert and out of all things I choose that? /facepalm.

Esok pegi Putrajaya to pay Abah a visit (and finally, maybe, a decent tarawih outing with him - minus the bros :( which I guess no mapley session afterwards oh well). I hope I survive the stepmom's wrath (semi-exaggeration. havent been in a close proximity with her in yonks, I'm quite nervous to say the least).

So yeah, I dont even know why I'm updating this blog at 1:18 in the morning. Nah gambar kucing aku, dia penat sebab banyak sangat pose last last pose macam ni lepastu sambung tidoq. Selamba.

Fact #1452461: Believe it or not, Po can stop whatever she's doing and listen to me when I pickup the uke. Sumpah makhluk Tuhan paling comel. Kalau aku sedih, she'll be beside me main main dengan jari aku sampai aku Ok. So much love.

August 6, 2011


Sometimes kan, aku wonder doh, macam mana lah perempuan perempuan can live up to their life standards? High maintenance kot. Paling tak high maintenance pun ada sikitttttttt la kan. Semua nak cantik, semua nak perfect, (pastu semua nak kurus hu hu hu, I am included hehehe -)

Lepastu. Macam mana korang boleh pakai like sky scrapper high heels without fear of falling flat?
I am, amazed beyond words! (sebab aku pakai flats pun boleh jatuh flat on my face, true story happened circa 2008 and I'm not ashamed to admit it hahah)
Baru lepas windowblogshopping. Explains the post.
Iftar tadi best gila! Lagi best kalau ada S sekali. Oh well.

August 5, 2011


Ok, dah hari ke-lima. Aku rasa macam dah setengah bulan puasa hu hu hu, is that a bad thing? Hm. I told you already kan how much I want September to come running? Aku rasa dah banyak kali.

Banyak benda aku belajar so far. Belajar tahan marah. Belajar sabar. Belajar tolerate. Belajar give and take. Sharpen up my domestic skills. Belajar tahan emosi. Hari hari belajar. Not a bad thing, tapi... sakit dan penat. I know i shouldn't complaint much sebab ada orang lagi teruk dari aku. Tambah tambah bulan puasa ni. Like, alah, biasala tu duduk alone. I mean like, I feel alone/lonely even I'm in a house of at least 7 people. No one gets me like my brothers. Dem, I miss the old timesss.

Aaaaaak dah janji dengan diri sendiri tanak post emo stuff, tapi macam kat sini nobody reads my blog and I feel like I can be totally honest here, no? Well /nobody/ as in... them people.

Soul searching jadi penat+perit+pelik bila kita sendiri tak tau apa kita nak cari.
Serius. Aku rasa aku dah lain gila, and I'm not sure whether its a good thing or a bad thing. Hm.
:/ Gotta find time to visit Ibu. Maybe I'll bawl. Maybe.

August 4, 2011


9 tahun tak jumpa, and it will stay that way (unless, I die.)

I miss you Ibu. Every year I wonder what is it like celebrating the Ramadhan with you. And this year, I wonder how is it like celebrating the Ramadhan with my family altogether. So much things have happened, things I think you would not even imagine even before you left us. :(

I miss I, and S. I miss Abah too. I miss being in my own house. It has been almost a year I live out of suitcases, countless bus rides and hours apart from my blood.

Ramadhan Kareem, Ibu, you mustve been having a good time down there.

August 3, 2011

Just sayin', because its the truth.

August 2, 2011

(via hellohappysoul)

Kejap je dah August. August! 29 days left to September. I cannot wait. Bukan sebab nak raya, tapi sebab rasa rasa September macam ada hope. Hee :') Oh btw, Ramadhan Kareem! Makan time buka control control okeh. (I rasa lama gilaaaa tak pegi bazaaar. Hu, harap berkekalan sampai hujung bulan, ameen)