October 23, 2012

//99

Let's talk life.
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Honestly, I do not like what I'm doing right now. I'm sick of the question "How's work?" Because hello, to tell you the truth I just want to scream 42352413672153261 millions things that are negative about it.

I don't know, I guess, I just can't place my usual 5 years timeline being at this place. Y'know? I am a very goal oriented person. As chill as I might play with life stuff right now, I do give a whole loads of fuckery into planning how my life should be.

Taking baby steps to get to what I want in life, with God's wills.
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Speaking of which, I am my most lost state at this moment. Nothing seems to be in order and I'm an organized freak. This is driving me nuts! Not happy with work, not happy with friendships, not happy with my nonexistent lovelife and deffo. not happy with life.

Convo was on Sunday and someone just had to ruin the day for me. Thank you very much lah. It's as if, I 'm never that important to you, ever kan? 20 minutes just for a hug and a goodbye? What kind of a person are you really? Because I'm done figuring you out, SO done. 25 years and you are still a stranger to me.
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I just have one wish right now: To be a good samaritan and have those negative people move far away from me, because I could not afford another low. Not this time. I like the new Dalila and I intend to keep myself that way.

October 7, 2012

//98

There's this person who looks like ryan ross and has the bestest smile I've seen in a while and the friendliest face I just want to keep talking to but I'm nervous and shy and shit and this person always sounded a bit of a dork to me but I like it that way, i mean I might actually like this person for real and it scares me because I have a really bad social awkwardness and sighs, people like this person would never talk to me though but this person actually did and it feels nice.