March 17, 2013

Peh, kau ni.

This has been bugging me for the longest of time.
Why do people look the way they do?
Why does lookin' good matter most?
How superficial can you guys get seriously. I mean, don't you feel its tiring trying to impress people all the frikkin time? "Look good because people will like you" fucked up logic weh.

I'm not a "better" version of myself unless people "notice" me.
I'm not "improving" unless i "look pretty".

What about being less cranky, mad at the world person?
What about being more responsible about my action towards others?
What about taking a huge step taking a huge responsibility and get rid of my self-doubt so I won't be dependent on people that much?
What about building on what makes me feel good, makes me feel happy and makes me feel like i'm interesting enough to talk to?

All that boils down to it is how pretty I should look so that you'd give me a chance?
Is it actually OK to be godknowshowblonde but forgivable because you are pretty/hot?

Shallownya kau ni.

I just want to be your friend goddamnit.

You don't even know me, yet.

Don't flatter yourself too much.

March 8, 2013


Kehadapan diri sendiri,
Ini kerja paling gila kau pernah buat.
What have you got yourself into?!
Bangun mandi terus pergi kerja, balik pkul 12 tgh malam.

Kau gila kau tau tak.
Gila, gila, gila.

Kehadapan future Dalila,
I hope this is WORTH IT.

Buat masa sekarang, simpan je la niat nak bersosial, ada life, ada family. Sila simpan elok elok.

Yang gila,
Diri sendiri.

March 5, 2013

A year ago.

I was busy completing my fyp.
I was accustomed to gulping down energy drinks like nobody's beeswax.
I was busy updating my resume.
I was busy fantasizing how awesome (and scary) the working/adulthood would be like.
I was busy crushing on Mr. Otter.
I was busy planning out gatherings for my final few months.
I was busy looking for the meaning of life.
I was busy changing.
I was enjoying the new me.

That was all a year ago, today.

But, today,
I was busy scratching my head, doubting my heart, calming myself down.

11 months left. You can do this.