//77

--
Bekalan rindu. Nanti rinduuuuuuu semuanya.
Thank you guys, korang memang terpaling best. Hihi.

Sayaaaang semuanya.

P/S: Helen, Su & Meow, even you girls takde today tapi tetap dalam ingatan okay! :)
--

//76

--
Can't believe I made it.
Can't believe I put on (back) the 9kgs I lost. (SOBS)
Can't believe I'm not gonna be a student for a while. After that whole 7 years shenanigans of getting a Degree.

--
One step closer to the end of it.
Paper semua dah habis.
Tinggal nak cakap good bye je.

Sedih :(

//75

Dulu aku ada dinding,
Tinggi melangit,
Lebih keras dari konkrit.


Tapi,
Satu hari, dinding aku berlubang,
sikit sikit aku biar,
jadi ia runtuh.


Aku jadi gelisah.


Aku bina balik sikit sikit,
Lebih keras dari yang dulu,
Lebih tahan lasak dari yang dulu,


Tapi,
Satu hari aku leka,
Sikit sikit dinding aku terbiar,
Rosak juga rasanya.


Tapi,
Satu hari aku sedar,
Yang aku perlu teruskan bina dinding yang itu,
Makin lama aku leka,
Makin lama aku biar,
Aku jadi tak siuman,
Aku jadi sakit tak tentu hala.


Jadi,
Mulai hari ni,
misi aku untuk siapkan projek dinding yang terbengkalai,
Biar kali ini,
Cuma yang mampu runtuhkan,
Rosakkan,
Dan hilangkan,


Hanya yang mampu.


Jadi,
Jangan tanya kalau aku sibuk membina,
Tak hiraukan apa,
Tak kira siapa,
Tak tentu masa,
Terlalu banyak sebabnya.
--
Isya'
Final study week, 
Tronoh.

//73

Terang nya background seterang future saya! Eh.
--
Haha, I'm now unofficially a graduate! Mixed up feelings terlampau banyak. My bonkers system was perceived as "working". Alhamdulillah! Tadi macam rasa nak tegur everyone yang I nampak hihihi because I was so happy and so relieved!
--
Tapi sedihnya nak tinggal Jungle yang terlalu seronok ni. Hm.

//72

What I want (to happen/right now)
--
To have more than a minute, a small talk with you because I think you were cute the other day you stumbled in front of me nervously and that smile and exchanged glances are not enough (I hope I'm not exaggerating things, because I suck at crushing on people, especially people like you). Hope to see you by the end of the week. A hello at least?
--
For my work to magically dissipates into thin air. Pronto!
--
That fine bowl of penne pesto at Baci cafe. And a good company.
--
To not cry when we finally have to part (I know I know this is only a "see you again" moment, but having a weekend without you guys suck big time, BIG TIME :( I don't know how will I manage after the final week.)
--
To fly kites. With Iki. I cannot wait to pick you up tomorrow, bro.
--
To this week to be finally over so I can enjoy my late night lepak sesh with them sweet kids. Like we used to. Gah I miss!
--
To not make a fool of myself for liking this particular guy because I already think I am one. For even have the time to crush on... people. In general.

//68

"Did you feel the tremor?" Clicked Send.
 Sent.
--
I don't know but my brain was doing this selective thoughts, who to ask that question, who should I be sure of their safety. It's a rare thing, I haven't been texting people that much unless it is tres important, such as asking people out for lunch because I am in dire need of food.

I wonder though, during that few seconds me and my bolster mildly shaken by it, how many families, persons, cats, dogs, houses were affected badly... and how many babies were delivered exactly at that moment. I felt like hugging my knees and rock my body back and forth screaming silently "Mommy, I need you".

And to be honest, I was still shaken by the fact that I felt it. I think there is more to it than just the tremor. It serves as a reminder. It serves as a message, too.
--
My fyp is still a lot. Submission (originally on Friday) would be tomorrow. And prototype demo a day after. And I got into SEDEX! Which I prayed hard so I won't get in, because I know I can't complete my system on time. But to get in? Alhamdulillah. Proves that my unfinished system worth something.

I hope I can do this. Sikit lagi nak grad, c'mon dalila!

//66

Hai hari esok,
please please please be better than today. PLEASE. I need you to be.

I need me a clear mind, clarity and the motivation to finish up my final semester, successfully.

//61: Of Love.

The Papercraft Project, March 2012. photo credit: Adib Harith

--
I thank Allah everyday for you guys' existence. On those days when you feel down, do know that there's someone who thinks you make the world go round.

Thank you for making me feel that my decision to be here is the best decision I've ever made, and thank you for showing me how to love and be loved. :-3

Sappy dalila is sappy.

//60

Turning into the dark side, muahahahaha!
--
As of this moment, I'm having a momentarily coder's block (if that exists), intense urge to procrastinate every. single. second - this counts and throw away all my projects outside my window.

//54

Makin nak habis makin malas makin tak produktif makin tekanan makin blur makin buntu makin fikir macam macam aku nak kerja apa kat mana gaji berapa ada ke orang nak ambik aku kerja duit nak habis dah ni scholar takkan masuk lagi apa benda kau ni pemalas betul fyp satu jadah tak gerak test tadi suka hati mak bapak je borak borak.
--
Tadi Test 1of my only minor subject this sem. First time masuk kelas finance tak rasa berapa inspired. Don't get me wrong, the lecturer is aiight, entahlah cuma tak macam kelas kelas dulu kot? Kelas Econs best lah tapi, sebab Dr. L ajar hihu.

So tadi test aku duduk row belakang, best gak duduk belakang belakang ni, macam macam cara budak budak ni nak meniru (termasuk yours truly), creative. And fun. Aku asyik nak senyum je, sebab nak gelak tak boleh. lol.
--
WOI STRESS GILAAAAAAAAAA.

//53

You know what?
I wish I'd have the courage to just pick my uke and sing in front of large crowd (like the other night, but the other night was filled with familiar faces and I was nervous at first but it turned out well), crowd that I don't even know their name and just sing, sing properly of course and sing my best without being too nervous or over thinking things.
--
I wish I could muster the courage to walk to you and say "hey, I think you're interesting/cute/fun/pretty/nice", smile and just walk away, or better yet hold a 2-minute conversation with you and make a lasting impression.
--
Because I don't want to be invisible anymore, but I don't know how to stop.

//52

Since it's Monday and it's my most favorite day of the week (After Friday-Saturday-Sunday) of course, I need to list down things that need to be done by this week:

• 6 interfaces via asp.net for le project
• complete 3 pages of EBS report
• complete 2.5 pages of Why China manipulates the Currency
• Stop watching the big bang theory back to back, you're on current season now you wouldn't want to wait for the new episode, Dalila.
• Stop procrastinating, due date for the project is on the 7th March.
• AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK.

//51: Socially Inept.

What should one do when one's weakness is pointed out in the most horrfying manner one could imagine?
--
Few weeks ago, I wanted to learn things, out of the context of going to class. And I guess this is it.
--
I don't work in a normal manner, and though that seems worrying and suffocating at times, I don't think I want to. Change for the better? Yes. Leave all my awkwardness and quirks? Not yet.

//50

I love having my ice cream and just be oblivious towards everything. Just me and my ice cream. Having a night walk alone is not bad either; with favorite tunes on both ends and just stroll around, thinking about nothing, soaking up your chilly surroundings; though walking up next/in front of people still makes me feel slightly nervous but I'm trying to make things okay, that it is okay to feel that way sometimes.

(via flickr/mac_papi)

I'm going to miss loads of things here; the people - my kind of people; the night walks; the runs; random (lovely) encounters and so much more.

//49

Isn't it weird that I'm starting to feel like I'm the weirdest out of the bunch. The whole point of starting (this) over was to find, my inner self la kononnya. But I feel like I'm getting weirder to understand, and to keep track of things that I feel, sense, see. Whatever.
--
School has been fun, if not hectic. Thursday will always be the most hectic day out of the week but I enjoyed every moment of it nonetheless. I was late for my 3 PM class because I had impromptu meeting earlier on, and being me, I mean - the old me, I'd become so anal about it - it might just ruin my day, but to my surprise, I love catching up with myself. (and somewhat being fashionably late hihu).
--
Have you ever met someone that you find interesting and at the end of the day you find yourself googling about this person just to know more - or to make sure of things, not in a stalker kind of way (uhm which I know this statement contradicts the former, again, whatevs)?
--
Abah wants me home. But I don't want to go baaaaaaaaaack. :/

//44

I had a really terrible weekend, I wasn’t being productive at all and from where I’m at, we’re having a 5-day long weekend starting from Friday and I know I should start working on my big project but I just havent found the momentum yet.

So today, I decided to follow a friend to some informal meeting regarding my project and I thought it would only last an hour or so, so I agreed to come with, but it turns out I had to be there for at least 4 hours with a total stranger (which I swear he was just wanted to get to know my friend - what’s new), and he kept forcing me to talk/to join in. I know he’s being courteous, but seriously after a while I feel like screaming.

I do not talk a lot on first meeting. It would take me at least a few hang out sessions, and that also depends whether or not i’m comfortable with you. It’s nothing personal, it is just how I roll. (And how I suck at socializing)

I’m a-okay if you want to flirt with my friend, by all means, please do so - but please leave me out of it. I’m a well adjusted wallflower. I even brought a book in case things like this happen.

I guess I was rude for not talking much, but I seriously don’t know what to talk about I’m still brushing up my social skills - why I say this? Because, I’m perfectly fine handling a class size crowd, if I know exactly what I’m dealing with, and on top of that, I love public speaking.

I need to talk more I guess? About petty stuff, I guess? That’s from my observations. Things like this just drain out my energy. I don’t even know why.

//43

Darling, one of these days you'd realized the things you want most will eat you up inside, slowly.
There's a reason why things are as what they are and not as what you want it to be.
To tell you the truth, I want that apology but  deep down I know I won't ever get it, or if it happens, I will no longer want it.
--
So what's the point rushing things you, yourself, are uncertain of?
Sabar, tunggu cerita Allah.

//42

FOSTER THE PEOPLE meets JAPAN!　 名づけよう！～LET’S CALL IT WHATever YOU WANT! from FTPmeetsJPN on Vimeo.
--
This is just, oh you know, bunch of perfect humans. Nothing much. #fangirl
--
It's already February. 3 frikkin months to go till I bid this place good bye for good.

Scary super.
--
My SV is the shiznitz.

//41

-- Daily? Pfft.
--
Today's my second day of school, (which also marks my first day of class for the last semester, writing that out just made me shat my pants), yesterday was tres awesome because of reasons. Heeheehee. I get that butterflies in your stomach feelings almost twice and they were awesome to say the least.

Nothing much to update, other than this - I'm effing nervous for this semester and I really hope I won't messed it up.
--
Good things, just stay. Or be better, your pick.

//34: Haiku Perperiksaan Akhir.

Separamati aku
aku jawab
jawab engkau.
--