We dress in play suits and play a game we know neither of us can win.(viaheisjealousforme)
I throw bricks and you build walls out of them.
I climb over and steal your breath for just a second before you find some way to leave.
And I don’t blame you. I blame the wind, the cold, the way my fingers curl around themselves when the air gets to close together and every one around me has their head on someone else’s shoulder.
I don’t blame me, I blame the way my imagination makes miles disappear and hearts make more sense than minds.
I don’t blame us. I blame whatever it is that keeps my eyes watching my phone.
I blame whatever it is that makes me get you.
And I blame every mile that keeps me from getting you more.
So we end up switching roles; I pretend to miss you and you pretend to miss me and I end up crying myself to sleep.
I’m so tired of thinking and missing what I have never had.
I think being lonely with you is worse than being lonely alone.
But I don’t want you to leave.
I got one more paper to go, it's raining outside and it is fucking up my mood. Hm. I don't want to go through another night like yesterday. I don't want to imagine our fingers intertwined with my tears soaking up my blanket. I don't want to be this far when all I want to do is be near. I don't want to be a worrywart in a distance.