November 28, 2012

What has the world come into?

“They are turning the holy sanctuary into a machine, a city which has no identity, no heritage, no culture and no natural environment. They've even taken away the mountains.”

*The house of the Prophet’s wife, Khadija, who is referred to by Muslims as the “Mother of the Faithful” was recently torn down, and in its place a row of toilets were established.



This saddens me deeply. I could not express how sad and angry I am by reading this, and that I have not yet entered Mecca and this happen and I'm just....overwhelmed by SO many feelings.

Why is the action to move forward as a city is seen as the only right thing and the most civilized thing to do?

Why can't we just preserve what makes it beautiful in the first place and respect for what its worth?


Ya Allah. :(

November 15, 2012

Revelation #1

Here goes my Maal Hijrah's so-called revelation sparks and whatnots.

Happiest new year to all my muslim friends, may Allah guide and grant us Jannah, inshaAllah.

Kalau ditimbang kira, dah masuk dua bulan aku kerja. Dua bulan. I still feel like I've been there less than a month, still learning; lari sana lari sini, buat salah sana sini, berjutajuta silent scream yang terpaksa aku tahan, pendam, simpan untuk bekalan yang entah bila akan aku lepaskan semua.

Aku tak tahu for real, is this it? I mean, ye aku tahu, peluang kerja bukan datang bergolek. Aku patut rasa bersyukur yang teramat sangat sebab sekarang, I am in control, albeit partially, I finally have a say on what I want to do with my life and I can finally give a big fat No, mean it and be firm with it.

The fact that my officemates keep bring up the "don't-hop-jobs" card on me is making me think: Am I really THAT obvious with hating my current job? Do I really exert that negative vibe to everyone and made them think that I actually planning to leave? Because there is only two person in the whole company knows about this. And they're not the kind that tell people stuff. So, it really confuses me.

Aku rasa aku ketagihkan produktiviti. Ketagih nak jadi busy sentiasa. I think we all are, in a way, maybe you just didn't realize it, yet. I mean, when I'm productive, I'd feel less useless. I'd feel like I'm contributing and that is all I seek in whatever I do. To contribute, to make people feel happy, at ease, and in return I'd get the satisfaction that I'm out there, doing something even it's the smallest thing.
And given the fact that it's the new year, and I'm turning a new leaf, I think that people in relationship is rich. In terms of emotions I guess? Because being in relationship (whatever kind) requires a lot of feelings to have, to feel, to give. Which is something I'm stingy on. I guess I don't have that luxury for now - to have feelings. Why?

Because something really bad happen a few days ago, it has always been bad though but this is the worst yet. I was so mad, so angry at everything - myself included. I wanted to cry, but I told myself not to. And I realized, I haven't cried in a while, not at this kind of thing anyway - it used to make me feel like my life is a living hell - which to be honest, it still does, but I'm so void emotionally to even entertain this thing anymore. So i just sat there, ranted about it the next day and it still bugs me that I haven't react entirely to it yet - though it deserve my screams, crying and all that.

I don't know. I don't know what is, anymore.

I guess the new year requires me to be a little bit more tougher and stronger.
There, my soul-searchy post after the whole 101 posts shenanigans.

November 10, 2012

Post-100 posts

Wow it just hit me that Yuna that I used to know is not what Yuna is now.
I mean, I used to be able randomly drop that girl a message and I'd get a reply,
heck I even get to chat with her occasionally dulu; catching up on stuff, talks about boys and stuff. (yes I can't even believe it myself.)

I don't even know if I even got the chance to talk to her end of this month.
Wow, everyone just change so much.

(I am NOT implying that she's totally a different person (she's still who she is, well at least that's what my last memory of her can recall), it's just that.. your usual dorky girl is not that usual anymore. She's frikkin somebody now, and I am totally, totally proud of her. Period.)
On a slightly unrelated note, I am loving the third EP installment of the biggest sweetheart I've met in history - William Beckett; loving the fact that he's keeping the friendships with the rest of the band members, and that The Butcher is in this one.


Work is OK. I guess I have to learn to love it.

November 5, 2012