Showing posts with label hi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hi. Show all posts

November 15, 2012

Revelation #1

Here goes my Maal Hijrah's so-called revelation sparks and whatnots.

Happiest new year to all my muslim friends, may Allah guide and grant us Jannah, inshaAllah.
--

Kalau ditimbang kira, dah masuk dua bulan aku kerja. Dua bulan. I still feel like I've been there less than a month, still learning; lari sana lari sini, buat salah sana sini, berjutajuta silent scream yang terpaksa aku tahan, pendam, simpan untuk bekalan yang entah bila akan aku lepaskan semua.

Aku tak tahu for real, is this it? I mean, ye aku tahu, peluang kerja bukan datang bergolek. Aku patut rasa bersyukur yang teramat sangat sebab sekarang, I am in control, albeit partially, I finally have a say on what I want to do with my life and I can finally give a big fat No, mean it and be firm with it.

The fact that my officemates keep bring up the "don't-hop-jobs" card on me is making me think: Am I really THAT obvious with hating my current job? Do I really exert that negative vibe to everyone and made them think that I actually planning to leave? Because there is only two person in the whole company knows about this. And they're not the kind that tell people stuff. So, it really confuses me.

--
Aku rasa aku ketagihkan produktiviti. Ketagih nak jadi busy sentiasa. I think we all are, in a way, maybe you just didn't realize it, yet. I mean, when I'm productive, I'd feel less useless. I'd feel like I'm contributing and that is all I seek in whatever I do. To contribute, to make people feel happy, at ease, and in return I'd get the satisfaction that I'm out there, doing something even it's the smallest thing.
--
And given the fact that it's the new year, and I'm turning a new leaf, I think that people in relationship is rich. In terms of emotions I guess? Because being in relationship (whatever kind) requires a lot of feelings to have, to feel, to give. Which is something I'm stingy on. I guess I don't have that luxury for now - to have feelings. Why?

Because something really bad happen a few days ago, it has always been bad though but this is the worst yet. I was so mad, so angry at everything - myself included. I wanted to cry, but I told myself not to. And I realized, I haven't cried in a while, not at this kind of thing anyway - it used to make me feel like my life is a living hell - which to be honest, it still does, but I'm so void emotionally to even entertain this thing anymore. So i just sat there, ranted about it the next day and it still bugs me that I haven't react entirely to it yet - though it deserve my screams, crying and all that.

I don't know. I don't know what is, anymore.

I guess the new year requires me to be a little bit more tougher and stronger.
--
There, my soul-searchy post after the whole 101 posts shenanigans.

November 10, 2012

Post-100 posts

Wow it just hit me that Yuna that I used to know is not what Yuna is now.
I mean, I used to be able randomly drop that girl a message and I'd get a reply,
heck I even get to chat with her occasionally dulu; catching up on stuff, talks about boys and stuff. (yes I can't even believe it myself.)

I don't even know if I even got the chance to talk to her end of this month.
Wow, everyone just change so much.

(I am NOT implying that she's totally a different person (she's still who she is, well at least that's what my last memory of her can recall), it's just that.. your usual dorky girl is not that usual anymore. She's frikkin somebody now, and I am totally, totally proud of her. Period.)
--
On a slightly unrelated note, I am loving the third EP installment of the biggest sweetheart I've met in history - William Beckett; loving the fact that he's keeping the friendships with the rest of the band members, and that The Butcher is in this one.




--

Work is OK. I guess I have to learn to love it.

September 17, 2012

//97


--
Hari ini, minggu ini mungkin: Akulah manusia yang terpaling cuak di muka bumi.

August 17, 2012

//91


-- Celebrating Eid in SI this year just because. Went through the usual routes I usually hang around during my student years and I had this wave of nostalgia came crashing over me. Man, I'm sappy.

So here's one for the road. Don't know when will I do another cover (though, *we* do have plans for Raya ed, like the one we did last year but we'll see.).

October 4, 2011

Generalist.


(via numadhamani)

I'm like the epitome of generalist, I can do pretty much everything, and I can be okay at it, but that's that. Just OK. Maybe I haven't found my core yet - whatever it is. Oh, the proposal has been accepted and whats more awesome is that, another big project I'm in is under two supervisors (If you could recall, one of it is the Ms. President of Super Cool Lecturers' Club) and my own SV for my fyp. How wonderful. No sarcasm intended. I hope this would be it, y'know? - The motivation to go through with my ideas.

Sigh, I need to start living the big dream I dream about. Walk the talk. Have faith in my projects and ideas and whatnots. Used to be my mantra though but now, I'm not quite sure.

Oh, have you guys watch Horrible Bosses yet? Amagat, that movie is mad genius. And hilarious. Genius.

That's it for now folks, till later!

September 24, 2011

A tribute to Po, and everything else in between.

Cheesy alert! (But then again, who reads this blog?)
--
Few months back, I met a cat. An extraordinary one. Err, aku ni penakut kucing, sikit sikit. But, it's different with Po. Dulu aku selalu question how can people actually get attached to cats and treat them as family, now i know why. And she's like a sister I never had. Tak make sense kan kalau nak cakap she understands me? But she does. Really, I'm amazed. Ada this one night, I was telling her that I'll be leaving her soon and that I love her, lepastu tu aku tidur. All the while she licked my hand whenever I said I love her, and that I'm scared of what will come next. (And she's never a licker, always a biter) How can that not be sweet? Sighs.

Cats. Nanti, kalau dah ada rumah sendiri, I'll have one. I and S mesti suka :D
--
So here I am, back in the Jungle, tempat paling panas dalam Malaysia. Ten months ago, all I can ever think about was to plan out dates with the (now ex) boyfriend, to sort out my transportation problems to and fro the office, and to have fun all the way, as much as I can. Little did I know, things changed drastically. I'm no longer living with the parents, we talked once a month, if not never. Met I and S not on a daily basis (which pains me because I am dependent on them whether I like it or not), - THIS, is a big deal because, unlike some of yous my age, I still care about being under one roof with my flesh and blood, I guess I'm a family person - and well - being single, thats not a shocker, living with family which I'm not that close to but I have to because I got nowhere to go and not enough moolah to rent on my own AND live with their antics. But the toughest part was (still is), living with my emotional breakdowns every once in a while.

Phew.

BUT. Somehow, I manage to keep myself happy. Maybe all of that is a blessing in disguise. I learn how to give and take, I learn how to appreciate things and people around me, and as cliche as this may sound, I learn how to love myself - baby steps baby steps! Banyk benda yang dulu aku ingat, this is it, this is how my life gonna be, not great but not so bad either... but then BAM! it's like Allah's sending me signs.. like He was telling me "Nope D, there's A LOT more to this, and you can be so much better, wake up!"

Alhamdulillah, I can never thank You enough. Never, not in my lifetime.
It's nice, falling in love with your Creator. All the things that anchoring me down are no longer there, and I feel much much lighter. I feel like,my life has been rebooted and all I have is a piece of a blank canvas and I can paint it whichever way I want it to be.

SubhanAllah. Tuhan je tahu apa aku rasa sekarang.
--
I hope my final year would be as I wanted it to be. InshaAllah.

August 8, 2011

Oh my god harini aku makan cappuccino cheesecake, leftover birthday Aunty dua hari lepas. Whut. There goes my so called diet. Tak sedap mana pun tapi I feel like having some dessert and out of all things I choose that? /facepalm.

Esok pegi Putrajaya to pay Abah a visit (and finally, maybe, a decent tarawih outing with him - minus the bros :( which I guess no mapley session afterwards oh well). I hope I survive the stepmom's wrath (semi-exaggeration. havent been in a close proximity with her in yonks, I'm quite nervous to say the least).

So yeah, I dont even know why I'm updating this blog at 1:18 in the morning. Nah gambar kucing aku, dia penat sebab banyak sangat pose last last pose macam ni lepastu sambung tidoq. Selamba.

Fact #1452461: Believe it or not, Po can stop whatever she's doing and listen to me when I pickup the uke. Sumpah makhluk Tuhan paling comel. Kalau aku sedih, she'll be beside me main main dengan jari aku sampai aku Ok. So much love.

September 22, 2010

Obviously

Tadi, bumped into few of familiar faces, they said I seems happy. Lol. Sebenarnya aku dok fikir nak tegur (perli ehe) this guy friend of mine and I think it shows kot sebab aku macam tergelak sorang-sorang before I could really tease him. Diorang siap suruh explain siapa yang buat aku happy (nampak sangat muka aku memang gloomy gila kalau tengah jalan, e he he), and macam takkan aku nak share inside jokes I just had with myself kan? So aku biarkan aje.

Seriously-lah, I think I have too many inside jokes inside my head and I can burst laughing anytime and if at the same time ada manusia yang perasan sure ingat aku tak berapa nak betul. Thing is, tak semua faham, dan jokes takkan jadi jokes kalau kau kena explain kan? So I let it be.

Anyways, dua hari lepas ada lecturer baru ganti spot the former lecturer of my least favourite subject. Subjek ni mula-mula aku ambik pun sebab aku rasa macam interesting gila, tapi salah satu sebab aku menyampah was that lecturer lama tu macam take into account yang bukan semua budak dalam kelas tu came from the same background. Contohnya aku. Manalah aku nak tau remaizer tu apekebenda, and dia siap cakap "Oh, If you don't know I won't go further"... aku dah cari and aku tak faham. Bila aku tanya nanti dia tanya soalan in jargon yang memang alien gila.

Kira macam aku cakap language coding dengan orang belajar chemical. Tak masuk kan? Ha macam tu ah. Aku lost gila ah before cuti mid sem ni. Lepastu bila dah take over aku suka sangat sebab lecturer yang baru ni selalu go back and forth on financial jargons, so banyak yang aku tahu and banyak yang aku rasa aku boleh tanya untuk fahamkan. Baru dua hari, but I kinda like this lecturer. Nampak effort dia nak ajar. So aku sangat bersyukur lah. (kot. for the time being) Tak kisah lah banyak kerja pun, janji aku faham.

Oh oh! Investment portfolio aku naik sikit. Happpppyyyy sangat ni. Even aku kat rank #10000++ E he he, budak baru belajar okay lah kan nampak naik sikit. Hee.

Anyways, tiba-tiba semalam tergerak hati nak tulis using my left hand sebab ada budak yang aku macam suka tengok ada sikit accident yang sebabkan dia tak boleh nak menulis using dia punya tangan kanan (she's a righty, obviously), so macam aku terfikir ah kan, kalau aku kena macam dia, how am I supposed to learn to write using left hand promptly? Malang tak berbau kan. Aku rasa orang lefty attractive and very artsy, aku rasa lah. Sebab most of lefties I know semua macam confidence dia tinggi lain macam sikit and macam charming sikit lah so that what makes them attractive (loverboy included ahem.) to me.

So yeah, obviously tulisan aku cam cibs. E he he. Kalau tengok tulisan aku yang betul betul pun tak semua orang faham sebab aku suka short-hand notes. Semua macam cacing. Honestly, bila dah bergelumang dengan coding for four years aku rasa macam pen dan pensel tu semua tak relevan untuk wujud. Tak ada guna. Nak menulis pun kekok. Buruk gila ah tulisan aku, orang-orang tertentu je faham (example: ex-lecturers), kadang-kadang aku sendiri tak faham e he he.

Oh yeah, semalam (or ke today? aku confused lah EST timeline ni. hm) was/is Glee Day. Excited okay! Glee kids nyanyi Billionaire (like hello! Bruno Mars! (<3) and Travie) Hee. Tak sabar, cepat leak pleaseeee!

Oh, dan, Hello! (harini post tak emo kan kan kan? Sebab dah penat :) )

August 6, 2010

Hello untuk awak.

Hai orang Melaka (I assume) yang ada say Hi dekat formspring dulu. Lama tak nampak dekat feedjit? Sihat? Saja mahu say hello balik! :)