June 14, 2010

Another one under 'Journal'

Setiap satu sel dalam badan aku, *aku* lah, bukan kamu, adalah sel-sel dreamer, yang selalu inginkan apa yang ada disana dan bukan apa yang sudah tersedia, what-ifs memang selalu cloud my judgments.

Not to say I don't count my blessings, just that, well grass is always greener on the other side, right?

Bila berada dalam keadaan gelap macam ni *literally, because one of my brother is down with a fever and the light is off just to make sure he's comfortable enough to rest*, moment macam ni memang priceless.

For a few while, I feel like everything is changing - my brothers are growing up and who am I kidding, anyways? I would soon be just a sister to them at some point of their life like it or not. I won't be able to be as close as I like to be with them because they are turning into an individual now.

Ok, dah sidetracked jauh sangat ni. Aku, mahu berada di Boston. I don't know why I always adore that city. I have never traveled outside Malaysia before, and I would love to someday. Aku tak tahu specifically what I wanted to say, but ini memang berada on top of my head now.

Aku memang akan unintentionally mothers my brothers when they're sick, or just confused. It's my nature I guess having to grow up without a mom. So you could say there's a slight annoyance and worries that they're growing up too soon, whether or not they'll be good and what have yous as what normal mother would feel. Aku rasa lah. Rasa je sebab aku tak tahu.

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