You know what's funny, tres weird and awkward?
Being at the same spot with people you (used) to know (or stalked) through myspace, livejournal, vox blahblahblah and not being able to really hang around with them because:
a) you were a socially awkward penguin
b) you didn't dress cool enough to be in the crowd
c) you were not sure whether they remember you as much.
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So yeah.
I was sticking out like a sore thumb, sitting at the edge looking forever alone (together) with my bro and enjoying the ambiance. Not sure if I like being in that situation or that I even want to be in that kind of situation ever again.
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Drove my way to KL today, was lost as mofo but found my way to Lake Gardens just in time to catch the girls sing and dance and host a hi tea picnic potluck party.
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I think I'm meant for live music and only live music. Not chill out sesh whatsoever. There's always the first time for everything, and also, the last.
I had a really terrible weekend, I wasn’t being productive at all and from where I’m at, we’re having a 5-day long weekend starting from Friday and I know I should start working on my big project but I just havent found the momentum yet.
So today, I decided to follow a friend to some informal meeting regarding my project and I thought it would only last an hour or so, so I agreed to come with, but it turns out I had to be there for at least 4 hours with a total stranger (which I swear he was just wanted to get to know my friend - what’s new), and he kept forcing me to talk/to join in. I know he’s being courteous, but seriously after a while I feel like screaming.
I do not talk a lot on first meeting. It would take me at least a few hang out sessions, and that also depends whether or not i’m comfortable with you. It’s nothing personal, it is just how I roll. (And how I suck at socializing)
I’m a-okay if you want to flirt with my friend, by all means, please do so - but please leave me out of it. I’m a well adjusted wallflower. I even brought a book in case things like this happen.
I guess I was rude for not talking much, but I seriously don’t know what to talk about I’m still brushing up my social skills - why I say this? Because, I’m perfectly fine handling a class size crowd, if I know exactly what I’m dealing with, and on top of that, I love public speaking.
I need to talk more I guess? About petty stuff, I guess? That’s from my observations. Things like this just drain out my energy. I don’t even know why.
Penang was awesome. I love Penang, I love sharing the same oxygen with its awesome people. And the beaches. And when the whole island lit up, oh my god. It was so beautiful I wish I could keep it in a jar or something.
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Feeling a bit, meh lately. Maybe due to the workload. Maybe, I don't know. I should start running again, I miss running. And, I just realized something. I was that good of a person during that particular time, I was. And I didn't deserve any of it. I love wholeheartedly and that's that. I shouldn't feel guilty/down/whatever yeah? Life moves on. I should too.
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My little boyfriend. Who, loves me unconditionally when I have food at hand.
I'm like the epitome of generalist, I can do pretty much everything, and I can be okay at it, but that's that. Just OK. Maybe I haven't found my core yet - whatever it is. Oh, the proposal has been accepted and whats more awesome is that, another big project I'm in is under two supervisors (If you could recall, one of it is the Ms. President of Super Cool Lecturers' Club) and my own SV for my fyp. How wonderful. No sarcasm intended. I hope this would be it, y'know? - The motivation to go through with my ideas.
Sigh, I need to start living the big dream I dream about. Walk the talk. Have faith in my projects and ideas and whatnots. Used to be my mantra though but now, I'm not quite sure.
Oh, have you guys watch Horrible Bosses yet? Amagat, that movie is mad genius. And hilarious. Genius.
Cheesy alert! (But then again, who reads this blog?) -- Few months back, I met a cat. An extraordinary one. Err, aku ni penakut kucing, sikit sikit. But, it's different with Po. Dulu aku selalu question how can people actually get attached to cats and treat them as family, now i know why. And she's like a sister I never had. Tak make sense kan kalau nak cakap she understands me? But she does. Really, I'm amazed. Ada this one night, I was telling her that I'll be leaving her soon and that I love her, lepastu tu aku tidur. All the while she licked my hand whenever I said I love her, and that I'm scared of what will come next. (And she's never a licker, always a biter) How can that not be sweet? Sighs.
Cats. Nanti, kalau dah ada rumah sendiri, I'll have one. I and S mesti suka :D -- So here I am, back in the Jungle, tempat paling panas dalam Malaysia. Ten months ago, all I can ever think about was to plan out dates with the (now ex) boyfriend, to sort out my transportation problems to and fro the office, and to have fun all the way, as much as I can. Little did I know, things changed drastically. I'm no longer living with the parents, we talked once a month, if not never. Met I and S not on a daily basis (which pains me because I am dependent on them whether I like it or not), - THIS, is a big deal because, unlike some of yous my age, I still care about being under one roof with my flesh and blood, I guess I'm a family person - and well - being single, thats not a shocker, living with family which I'm not that close to but I have to because I got nowhere to go and not enough moolah to rent on my own AND live with their antics. But the toughest part was (still is), living with my emotional breakdowns every once in a while.
Phew.
BUT. Somehow, I manage to keep myself happy. Maybe all of that is a blessing in disguise. I learn how to give and take, I learn how to appreciate things and people around me, and as cliche as this may sound, I learn how to love myself - baby steps baby steps! Banyk benda yang dulu aku ingat, this is it, this is how my life gonna be, not great but not so bad either... but then BAM! it's like Allah's sending me signs.. like He was telling me "Nope D, there's A LOT more to this, and you can be so much better, wake up!"
Alhamdulillah, I can never thank You enough. Never, not in my lifetime. It's nice, falling in love with your Creator. All the things that anchoring me down are no longer there, and I feel much much lighter. I feel like,my life has been rebooted and all I have is a piece of a blank canvas and I can paint it whichever way I want it to be.
SubhanAllah. Tuhan je tahu apa aku rasa sekarang. -- I hope my final year would be as I wanted it to be. InshaAllah.
Okay I've been keeping in touch with my past (indirectly) lately, and tonight I went all out. If I can write a letter to my younger self circa 2004-2006, this would be it. --
Dear D, I am from the future, do not freak out as you won't be able to read this until today anyways. I feel like I need to let you know how I feel about you (myself) looking back on things. First of all, you need to know this: your life was fucked up. Crazy shit. I am thankful now that I am normal. More normal than I/you ever were. Alhamdulillah.
I guess, at one point of our lives, people act weird. I mean, weird weird. I mean, what the hell, I/you got rejected but wanted by the same person at the same time. That was twisted. And, few shit happens, which, darling D, i pity you a whole lot. Hm.
One thing I admire most about you is how well you were with people. Where the hell the old me/you go? Gosh, I miss feeling like that. I/you can just talk to strangers from hours to end minus the awkwardness, can I just tell you that you are awesome? (Y). I suck at meeting new people now, I guess when I was you, I tried to find a littlest bit to love in everybody. Now I'm too cynical I guess. Thing is D, you've changed A LOT. Thanks to all those people too. Remember there this one person telling you that you blame everything on people except you? Well, I guess yeah I take that part in and thanks, I don't anymore. :)
I was taken aback when I came to a point where someone gave you his number. I mean, what was that all about? Talk about mixed signals please! Lol, life just been a bit mundane since you left, 2004 - 2006 werent my best years.
You were, enthusiastic... about everything, which I find very good. I lack in that department now. Who the hell care what language I learn anyways? You. Ah, where does the good go, eh? There's a part of you that I miss, really. But I pick up new things along the way thanks to you.
Oh! OH! How can I forget all about me/you being buddy buddy with fav girl and N? OMG girl you surprise me with your guts. If I were you now I won't do such things and fav girl wouldn't know that I exist. Thank you for letting your guts hanging like that. Not classy per se, but helpful in a way. LOL! Though N has forgotten all about me now, but that's okay. :)
What I'm trying to say is, you were so in the dump as you pictured it, but it wasn't all that bad. You got few things that I lack now. And I think, this too, whatever phase I am, shall pass.
Yours truly, D.A Gambar hiasan: Hai D circa 2004 - 2006, I am you now.
Cakap pasal tuning, aku rasa dah lupa macam mana nak buat database tuning, omg. This shouldn't happen really. Anyways, sorry aku dah jarang update panjang panjang sebab nak kejar final dah ni. Rabu ada submission, progress baru 20%, die ok, die.
Dulu masa dip aku rasa nak cari internship placement adalah benda yang paling menyusahkan, nak kena call, buat follow up, hantar resume apa bagai tu belum masuk part kena reject kaw kaw sebab orang tak tahu nama kolej aku. Nasib baik aku dapat buat kat satu mnc ni, nasib memang baik. Tempat tu pun aku tak apply, nasib memang baik.
Tapi kat sini, ya Allah, aku rasa tak payah susah susah call ke rajin-rajin nak apply ke sebab confirm akan dapat. Boleh buat pilihan lagi, ikut je hati nak yang mana (though hati tengah pening sebab semua suka wthell weh, manusia memang tak bersyukur kan? Aku, especially)
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Minggu ni dan minggu depan will look like this:
27/10 : IPM submission
28/10: CF submission
02/11: ADS, CF, BISTAT tests back-to-back, doakan aku dapat hidup the next day.
(aku tak tahu nak study mana satu dulu seriously)
03/11: Presentation IPM, SBE test
04/11: SBE submission
Saja letak so bila aku mengada nak update, takde la terlagha nak buat benda lain. Study weh D, study!
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Hari Jumaat lepas memang hari yang terbaik. Lepas dapat markah corot, malam tu aku all out. Tak menang pun, but I had fun. First performance ever. Aku dulu selalu berangan nak perform but I don't have the guts, so after yeaaaars, akhirnya. Aku suka. Malam habiskan onion ring sambil borak benda yang tak masuk akal dengan adik-adik (yang macam seumur aku), memang lepas tension habis. Alhamdulillah.
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Bila benda tak ada depan mata baru nak sayang. Baru nak cari balik. Baru nak simpan elok elok. Esok lusa benda tu datang balik, aku confirm aku tak rasa apa, kau hilang pun aku tak kisah. (Ok, not really, jangan hilang please? Main hide and seek tak apa, ok sayang? :) )
I feel more at night than I do at day. Have you ever felt that way?
Kadang-kadang aku rasa Allah ciptakan malam untuk kita nurse diri kita, yang kadang-kadang masa siang kita ni tak ada langsung nak fikir pasal apa yang kita dah buat, apa kita rasa, apa kita dah accomplish.
Aku rasa waktu malam adalah masa yang paling magical dalam sehari. Sebab bila malam, I feel close towards everything, towards myself, towards my family, towards my Creator. Dan masa malam jugak lah aku akan rasa benda-benda yang kadang-kadang crappy, tapi aku kena rasa. That what makes me human. What makes us human.
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Sekarang dah bulan Oktober, aku dah janji dengan diri yang bulan ini will be the best out of the best October I've ever lived. Saja. I feel like I need to accomplish more, and feel less. Tolak tepi benda-benda yang tak sepatutnya and be content with what I have and will have.
Aku pernah baca somewhere yang setiap inci tubuh kita sentiasa berubah in the past 6 months. Siapa aku pada April lepas bukan aku yang sekarang. I'm renewed.
-- Yesterday, Abah decided to tune in to Red, which used to be my fav radio station until I stopped listening to radio a while back. So, they were having this Jazz slot which at the point I was listening, I thought some guy covered Chocolate Rain (by Tay) and I thought "hey, this is nice" but when I listen closer, it was Buble's Spiderman - which was beyond awesome. It was raining, and after few songs, I found myself crying. I guess there's something comforting with Jazz that I let myself go. Thank God Abah didn't realized, or I'll have to answer 1001 questions.
Thing is, I don't know what is up with me lately. I cry at the most random time ever. About everything. I feel like crap most of the time. These negativities? They need to get out of my system, pronto! -- Y'know that feeling in which whatever you do is not enough? That makes you feel unimportant? Useless? Yeah. I'm feeling that at the mo. Suckiest feeling ever. I feel like I'm missing (or most probably lost) something in me. I could not figure it out.
I don't know if there's anyone still around reading my blog due to my excessive emo posts previously. Hm. This won't be any different, anyways. --
I guess it's true people come and go at the most random period of your life Had a few bad hunch few moons ago but I kept quiet, coz hey the last thing you need is drama in your life, right? I don't know what is it with me and people, I never get to keep them that long the way I want them to Though, at first I always blame it on the circumstances "Oh, people outgrew each other, chill-the-fucking-lax" or "People have life you know? And you don't. Suck it up", but now I am most certain that the problem lies in me. Me. I'm just too blah/bland/mundane/ B-OOOORINGGG for anyone i guess. I never care, well I do, but not in the way that they can see it anyways.
You know that quote quality over quantity? Well, I guess all I got now is quantity. Shit, this hurts. -- If you're looking for a friendship with me, you better think twice, because I am the lamest person you would ever encounter and I could never be that "HAY GIRLFRIEND" type of girlfriend. I am reserved. Period. -- "Oh, people outgrew each other, chill-the-fucking-lax".
I was searching for my dudes' pictures to make a dedication of somesort coz apparently I share my birthday with Azeem and Zan (though Zan is turning 24, who knew- at first I thought he's the same age as me), and coz Azeem was the earliest to wish me, we're never that close but we talk, occasionally, online. They say age is just a number, and I never gotten in term with that until recently.
Looking through the folders that contain bajillion pictures of people I love, know, used to know, barely knew... I was certain that I wasn't there to find my friends' pictures, but instead I was looking through my past. I was finding me.I keep at least 2-3 years worth of pictures in my HDD.
Who knew I've graduated, who knew I'll be where I am today, who knew I used to be like that. I am not really sure if that that inclines towards bad or good. Just feel like giving an emphasis to it. Who knew, I'll live through and be 23. Whoa. By the by, I should thank Allah for giving me the chance to breathe every single day and giving me the chance to live my life to the fullest everyday.
I guess I have lost my sense of quirkiness. Something in me died, for good. Hm. I miss having that sense of spontaneity, when I was 20 I had the straightest hair I ever had in my life. That was refreshing, something I decided in less than a minute and it made me feel good for a while. I could never imagine how I can do such thing, I am more of a cautious person now, everything will eventually leads to something, and I have to make sure that it has to be good or I'll bare the consequences. I miss hanging out and be silly, fuck the world, who cares what people think, who cares what I look like. No one. How naive. People judge, though I've never encounter anything bad yet (well... maybe a little..), it is certain that I have to weigh people feelings and thought in doing anything.
Though, I certainly like how I can say NO to people now. It's something that makes me feel in control, that I don't give in too much to people and have ample personal space to myself. I know people do view me as that arrogant stuck up girl. But hey, you have to be there for yourself when no one's there, yes?
I can't believe I'm running out of words. Ha ha, there was like a never ending story running through my mind when I was looking at those pictures, I guess it died out. Oh well. 23, huh? That's old. No, wait, let me correct that, that sounds.. so adult-like.
I got to know more amazing people in the span of a year, tell me how can that not be awesome? I got into my dream place on my own. I fought for my right. I battled the craziest person on earth and here I am still breathing, and being with the people I should be with. I got to know my Creator a little more in so many crazy ways you could not even imagine (and I hope for more, inshaAllah). I witnessed how easily people change. I could not ask for a better life than this.
23, please be a better year (what an oxymoron, but a wish is a wish. :)). I want to do so much more and I want to give out so much more. So much of what I could offer. Amin.
Wow this turns out to be a lengthy entry. Whoever reads this, well hey you better get me something! (I kid. /not really) -- On the lighter note, Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are premiered two days before my birthday, therefore I shall thank my Bruno for giving me an awesome birthday present he he he.
I've been looping Janelle Monae - Tightrope, loving the music, loving the video as well. Sick footwork! Enjoy! (OK, can't embed, here's the song for you instead.)
-- p/s: I got to celebrate along with nasi impit, kuah kacang and duit raya. Tell me how can that not be fun? Be safe lovelies, enjoy your Raya to the fullest... after all you deserve it. <3
To accidentally found something or to be exact someone that inspire you without them knowing is indescribable. Who would've thought that a person you would not take a glance on can move you inside? (Contohnya.) I found mine (for now, for now I think this person is perfect). Throughout my years there will always be someone who is a total stranger to me would lend a helping hand - just by being my inspiration to look at world differently. To view things into different perspectives. To get all annoyingly optimistic on things that should just ruin your entire being. Or sometimes, just being there, to entertain me - to tend to the mellowest day of my week.
More often than not, these people will miraculously appear in my life (for a short while, maybe longer, if God permits) in one way or another, and I keep falling in admiration how the heck these people are crafted so special by Allah, inside and out. I wonder if they know they are genuinely beautiful. I wonder if they know they touches someone that they don't know. Someone like me. --
I've been showing up the worst in me lately, and it amazes me how much I suck. No this is not my depression state, just a realization that I need to improve. I'm becoming less of a people person I once were. Kawan baik pernah cakap tentang the same thing. She mentioned to me how she loves to be on her own lately, and knowing her that is almost impossible. Masa tu aku tak boleh nak faham sangat, sebab, kawan baik adalah seorang yang sangat sangat loud. Kira 180 compared to me. Aku memang introvert, through and through.
Jadi introvert kadang-kadang seronok, sebab you'll always have your own space, your own time for yourself. Tapi bila dah nak masuk adulthood ni, kadang-kadang, susah jugak. I lack people skill. Hm. Tak tahu lah macam mana nak improve, hopefully I found myself a way. Makin lama makin loner aku jadinya. Sebab makin lama makin nampak siapa yang patut tinggal dan siapa yang patut pergi. I always look for quality over quantity. Always. Tapi kadang-kadang, sunyi.
Kalau nak dikira dari 5 tahun lepas, memang banyak benda dah jadi. Banyak orang yang dulu aku rapat terus dah tak bercakap. Entahlah. Aku bukan jenis yang suka putuskan hubungan dengan orang ni, tapi tu lah kadang-kadang shit happens. Tak boleh nak elak.
Semalam the guy gave me a call after a week of silence. Kami memang begitu, dulu selalu terasa kalau tak cakap/sms for a few days, but now I guess, I can live with it. -- The guy semangat-semangat tell me that finally he has bought the long awaited new battery for his suckish phone, instead of being happy about it (since serious dah lama gila phone dia fakap macam ****, almost 1 yr and a half I guess... =.=), I got pissed off. Sebab? I already gotten him a new batt cuma tak ada masa nak bagi, dan dia tahu about it. Duit tu boleh buat makan seminggu kat sini tau. =.=, anyways, lepas bagi lecture panjang lebar, rasa bersalah pulak sebab patutnya I should be happy, because he made the effort to finally buy that darn battery. What more he got it for less than the one I got him.
And then tone suara dah berubah. Haih. Kesian kena marah free. Tapi I rasa situation tu comel ahahaha. Omg, I'm such a bad girlfriend aren't I? -- My point is, aku memang tak boleh nak marah orang sebab nanti in the end aku rasa bersalah gila. Hm. What more if that person is someone special to me. Tsk. Maaf ya?
Today's after sahur was interesting. I was killing time waiting for Subuh (I know I should do something more productive, this killing time with internet is not good during Ramadhan, yes - that aside), I saw (if you don't know already, i am IN LOVE with this guy) Bruno Mars tweeted about him being live on his website, talking and answering questions. So, being me, I got excited. The time taken on reloadings and tried to by-pass the proxy were longer than the session itself, suffice to say, I only saw him (+ he talks, a bit) for merely 5 seconds. He looks awe.some /fangirl.
He he.
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Anyways, a few days back something nice happened. I was having a difficult time lately and I talked to my Creator that if He's there for me, I hope He'll talked back. It was that soon. I feel so loved :"), it's not everyday you get a special call like that (if you know what I mean), what more it was in Ramadhan, a very holy month for all of us.
Well, so-orry for getting all sappy about this, but I never felt that way before. Ever. Alhamdulillah.
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Other news, let's see... Oh, y'know, Paramore? The-only-band-I-listen-from-the-beginning-till-now-because-they-are-just-THAT-awesome-band? THEY'RE COMING HERE. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! (ALL CAPS SHOWS MY EXCITEMENT). So I have to say bye-bye to the Album Leaf just to make way for this one. Hee hee hee. Now, the only problem is, I have to make do with all the time I have left due to its being on 19th October, on a weekday, on Tuesday to be exact. I have too many classes on that day, and to travel to KL before 8? Hmmmm. I hope I'll find a decent way, soon. Anyone from Tronoh who wants to go, lets meet up and we can skip our class for the next day happily, y/y? :D
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I havent been writing this what-I-eat-for-lunch-post in awhile. And I havent been writing much on my music addiction ngehehe. So there goes!
Aku selalu ada sudden urges nak tulis lagu,mainkan dan record depan laptop. Pernah try, tapi tak berapa mengujakan. Tapi mahu lagi. I havent been using creative writing as my creative outlet in a long while. Bertahun.
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Rindu rasa satisfied dekat diri sendiri. Rasa bangga dekat diri sendiri. Sendiri simpan sorang-sorang rasa tu, rasa exclusive gila.
p/s: Quiz lepas aku tak dapat jawab. Silap aku mungkin. Sedih, Tuhan je yang tahu banyak mana.
Dalam kepala otak ni, macam-macam aku nak sekarang. Benda-benda yang want bukan need yang memang makan duit tapi aku still nak. Contohnya, aku nak handphone baru sebab phone aku sekarang cam **** sikit, tapi still boleh berfungsi, despite ada banyak annoyances jugak to put up with and what more special is that Abah gave me that phone. Let me tell you something about Abah, he's not the kind that spoils his kids. Kalau kau nak benda tu, kau work for it, jangan harap Abah nak bagi. Tapi lately Abah dah mellow sikit kot. Macam tadi aku buat surprise visit balik Shah Alam (lagi.), unlike any other days whenever I decided to go home, Abah ajak aku balik minggu depan, nak buka sama katanya. Harini aku balik hari je pun, ikut uncle balik. Haha, tumpang orang pun jadiklah, saja je nak try buka puasa kat rumah eventhough aku tau yang takde benda normal akan jadi, and perempuan tu still akan jadi benda paling annoying dalam rumah ni. Tapi Abah ada, so ok la kan?
So, kalau kira phone yang Abah bagi ni, this is like the second thing Abah ever gave to me. Dulu dia ada bagi radio, tu benda paling aku sayang ah, tapi ada hamba Allah ni dah rosakkan antenna dia, and Abah dapat tahu, so he said "Buanglah, dah tak boleh pakai kan?", nada rata. Monotone. Aku tak pasti dia marah ke, dia sedih ke, or dia tak kisah langsung.Tapi aku ikut je, sebab nanti hari-hari dia tanya awat nak simpan radio rosak tu. Huhu. Aku ego tak nak cakap sayang. Heh.
Last year, aku buat this big purchase ever, guna duit aku separuh, Abah separuh. Nasib baik dia agree nak buat macam tu kalau tak serious aku tak tau nak bayar pakai apa. Aku dok survey benda (Apple kesayangan) tu berbulan-bulan, siap mimpi lagi. Siap exam aku boleh buat tak kisah. Gila tak? Aku rasa aku gila la sebab pasal tu pun boleh hilang focus. And this thing happen again, sebab aku nak phone baru and ada this one gadget yang memang buat aku cair gila ah tengok. Aku rela habiskan duit aku dekat gadjet, dari habiskan dekat baju sebab:
Aku cerewet sikit bila cari baju. Explains my small sized wardrobe. Tak uptodate pun, but still. Aku takkan beli just for the sake of fashion ke apa. Kalau tak scream aku, aku takkan beli.
Orang kat Malaysia ni semua orang kerdil agaknya. Size selalu takde. Nak kata badan aku sebesar lori takdak la pulak. Huh, so aku cepat fed up cari baju. Menyampah.
Kalau shopping dengan Abah, jangan harap nak ada freedom try-try baju (aku memang kena try, sebab aku bukan orang kerdil :-p), so selalu balik empty handed, and tak kisah pun.
Kalau lah boleh kan, aku nak beli satu baju yang fits all sizes, lepastu pakai the same thing over and over again. Nak cover badan je kan?
And above all, owning a gadget makes me feel content. Cakap pasal gadget, dah lama aku tak sentuh kamera-kamera aku. Takde duit nak beli film. Agh, rindu la pulak nak menembak. Aku suka ambik gambar orang. Sebab aku rasa orang ni unik, satu objek yang takkan sama dengan yang lagi satu, banyak benda boleh interpret. Tapi aku takde la reti sangat, cuma enjoy buat benda tu. Anyways, semalam sahur dan buka memang awesome habis. Macam sahur and bukain a functional family, seronok. Even lauk buka and sahur sama, still rasa seronok sebab makan semeja, pass-pass nasi and lauk. Memang perfect lah.
Kat rumah takkan dapat rasa macam tu. Tadi kirim dekat adik suruh beli samosa, teringin pulak. Harap-harap ada. Tidur lepas subuh tadi I had a dream. It felt so real. Agak bummed out bila dapat tau yang tu mimpi je. Haish, tapi kalau fikir balik semua tak masuk akal pun he he.
This post contain useless rants that I need to vent out. Read on only if you have some free time to spare.
-- (i) I was once so used with Windows platform that I put up with all its antiques and its slowness. But now I can't. I can't even stand looking at this stupid stick thin font WinXP decided to use when I don't install the stupid, ughhhh hard to install plugins. WTF. I lived with Windows my whole life, and you give me bullpoop. Awesome. (ii) Okay, since we're talking geek language, I'm thinking of taking ABAP this semester just because I think it'll lessen my 3rd year coursework. At first I was given three options for my major - Database, E-Bizznez, and KM, and today I got to know that I can only take up either E-bizz or KM. FML. Agak ugh disitu [/ugh]. So okay, I went to the timetable thingamajiggy and it shows 3 long hours of lecture and lab, back to back. Um, okay? -_- (iii) Second day of semester has been hell. Too many subjects clashing with each other and I kinda hated myself for being lazyass for not doing the re-re-recheckings on the timetable that results in dropping my beloved (core) Econs. Sigh. (iv) Which leads me to three core subjects during my 3rd year of which of course will be awesomely filled with MAJOR and FYPs (YAY/sarcasm). So I have to take one of my fave minor subject to date down. Boo! (v) Echofon for Firefox memang sucks donkeyballs. Tak user friendly langsung (or maybe aku kena develop another twitter tool yang menepati cita rasa? Maybe.)
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But okay, it's only the second day. I hope it gets better because I really need rainbows for the next two weeks. Not poop, definitely not that.
Ya Allah, permudahkan urusanku. Berikan yang terbaik untukku. Jika itu yang terbaik, permudahkan perjalanan urusanku. Berikan aku kekuatan sebanyak mungkin untuk mengharungi minggu add drop yang amat menakutkan ini. Let the right ones in, let the wrong ones go. Amin, amin, ya rabbal a'lamin.
Sayang, jangan lagi ya? Tolonggg. Tak boleh hidup pakai mouse dan platform yang itu, tak poyo, cuma lupa, dan tak mahu ingat. Tolong ya, jangan. Tempat servis kamu itu jauh yang amat.
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Aku baru sedar yang kita boleh buat unedited movie guna mata dan sebarang dua lagu instrumental konon-konon jadi soundtrack unedited movie itu tadi. Seronok sebab tadi cuaca mellow yang amat, hujan renyai, tapi aku kat dalam lrt diselimuti aircond yang agak menggila hari ini. I don't know why I decided to wear my thinnest shirtwhen it is not even that sunny. Tak apa, precaution. Biasa la tu, kita merancang Tuhan menentukan. He he.
Sumpah hari ni cuaca superb gila, dah lama tak berada under that kind of weather, macam jatuh cinta dekat Allah lagi dan lagi ♥ MashaAllah. Tadi ada this one guy, kinda good looking jugak, berdiri betul-betul depan aku and he kept replaying that annoying Akon and David Guetta's song about sexy girl (?) over and over again. Mula mula macam nak perasan and take it as a compliment, but then rasa menyampah hahah, oh my god gila bimbo aku. (abaikan please, thanks)
Dulu aku suka judge orang based on their music preferences dan selalunya apa yang aku judge tu betul. Tapi sekarang, bila aku sendiri dah tak ada haluan on what kind of music I listen to aku rasa cam gila poyo doh aku dulu. Sigh. I wish life is that simple.Judge music orang -> suka -> boleh gang -> kawan -> share music. Senang kan?
Aku serious dah tak reti nak bersosial, balik balik muka samaaaaa je (okay no offense lah people! You'd get what I mean kan if you are my true friend :-p)
(?) I'm not much of Akon's fan, but I kinda like David Guetta.
