//89: 3AM: My new favorite hour.

It baffles me how
I reread the older posts
Re-track the likes
And everything flipped the script so much


I swore at one point
I was in this weepy zone
And the next
I put Warrior on loop
And now
How in love I am with Warriors (yet again, another version, another musician)


And how
I don't feel that annoying feelings anymore
And how
Effin' amazing that feels like
Because
I don't have to lie to myself & keep saying
"It's gonna be OK"
Because
It is OK now.


It is more than that now.


Though,
One thing though,
I need to get out of this rut,
This routine I had for so long.


And just... Create.

Pre-suhoor,
Enstek.

//88: 3am thoughts and whatnots

--
"We used to look at the stars and confessed our dreams"
 --
I know I haven't been writing in awhile. I don't know man, I don't know what to talk about. SO much things happen lately, like so freaking much I can't handle it. I really can't. I kinda miss being so very optimistic on stuff and now all I do all day is waiting for a phone call that would change my life.

Aaaah depressed nya bunyi! But really though.
Life has been different, Tak tahu nak suka atau tak. More towards indifferent kot. Entah. Entah. Itu je aku boleh cakap hohohihu.

Sebenarnya macam macam aku nak buat cuma tak jumpa drive tu je lagi, omg alasan je kan kau D? selalu nak alasan jeee eeee. (Eh tak, mana ada alasan betul apa. *k abaikan monologue ini*).

I miss having my late night driving sesh. I miss shiny lights, the noisy mapleys and stable internet connection. I am, officially a gadis kampung now (In a way lah. Tsk)

Honestly though, I cannot wait to move out. Bila? I'm not sure. Tapi by the end of this year I NEED to move out. I can't this place. It's not me. Or maybe sebab aku memang tak boleh berada dalam close proximity with certain people and the lack of social interactions. Betul dowh, hari hari aku mengadap muka adik aku je. Kalau nak hang out dengan kawan kawan, siapa lagi lah yang seremaja aku ni? (Unless budak jungle, but diorang sibuk nak exams and final year projects and living life). And have I told you I live at least 50 minutes away from the city? This city girl cries.

--
Aku rasa sangat bersyukurlah sekarang ni dah bulan puasa. At least malam malam jumpa la jugak orang lain ye dak? Huhu.

Bye.

00

Selamat berpuasa to whoever who still lingers around. May we strive to be the best that we can! :)

//87: Do we waste our time or does it waste us?

What am I doing with my life?